Endless Love

I went to the funeral home after work today. One of my co-workers lost her husband this week. He was 56 years old. She woke up the other morning and found him on the floor. He was just "gone". No warning.

I have known Bettina for less than a year, and I cannot count the times I've heard her refer to her husband as "my Marty". She has told me so many times how they are more in love today than when they met...it just kept growing. They were married for 26 years, and worked together for a few years before that.

The two had no children, but instead, two beautiful Afghan show dogs that were their life. They devoted themselves to one another and these dogs...and not much else. It's all they wanted or needed.

Tonight, this lovely woman sat in a chair, pulled up to her husband's casket, and rested her head upon his arm, her hands tenderly and constantly stroking his chest, arm and head. She needed the comfort of the man she loved. I had never seen an arrangement like this at a funeral home, but they actually had the kneeler slid down toward the bottom of the casket to make room for this chair...she refused to leave him. She told me that she "just can't do this", and that she wants to "take him out of there and bring him home". She wasn't trying to be dramatic in any way, she said this with the innocence of a child. For her there was no way to process the idea of life without "her Marty".

When the author Nicholas Sparks released his first novel, "The Notebook", I sobbed uncontrollably at the depiction of their love for one another. Their love was an incredible thing. I was in a struggling marriage at the time. I had been married for 16 years to a man whom I loved deeply. I know he loved me too, and yet, there was most definitely something missing. The bond that I longed for just was not there. After fifteen years I learned that it was because of some secrets that he was unable to share with me. I forgave him initially, but the trust I once had in him was so broken that I couldn't open myself up to him the way that I once had.

That book that I read really put words around some desires that I had had in my heart my whole life long. I knew that I wanted the kind of love that that story was about.

Over the last few days as I have encountered the grief that this dear woman is experiencing, but I have also caught glimpses of something that is so beautiful. The real love that they shared is just so evident. I think even she would agree that it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.

As my friends and I left the funeral home, I told one of them that I would rather remain alone for the rest of my life than to settle for anything less than that kind of love.

A piece of advice from a girl who knows. If you've want greener grass, water the grass that you have. It's so worth it!!! Wear your heart on your sleeve, say I love you until it's almost annoying. When you run into temptation, be some one's hero and just do the right thing. Treasure what is precious to you, protect it with all your heart.

Aspire to great things!

Sunday Kind Of Love

You've gotta love Sunday. No work, had a nice night out last night with..........MNC (See post "Valentine's Day After") He hates that tag, by the way. Sorry babe. Me and the dog, just hanging out, sipping steamy drinks from an over-sized mug. Earlier it was tea, now it's hot chocolate. It's only about 35 degrees F outside on this fine spring morning (almost noon actually)

I have been beaten and battered with work lately to the point of exhaustion. I come home and collapse on the couch, vegetate, go to bed. I have had no energy to do anything else...including blog. It's sad really. Must do something about this.

As for last night, Luciano's is the most incredible Italian place. It's big, and crowded, and noisy, and friendly, and the food is oh so wonderful. I sipped a Pinot Grigio and nibbled on bread with olive oil, salad, hot sausage stuffed peppers....and all of that before the pasta came. I took most of my chicken fettuccine alfredo home and ate it for breakfast today.

AH LIFE IS GOOD

CRAZY

There have been a lot of changes in the company that I work for over the last several months. A few weeks ago, I was so stressed that I was seriously considering seeing my doctor. Instead, I pressed on, and I guess that like many of us, I'm just dealing with it. I've always been really good at "dealing with" life. Unfortunately that doesn't make the stress any less stressful, and I think right now, it's beginning to cost me.

For night's on end, I have been having bad and/or stressful dreams. A week ago, I dreamed my mother was in declining health, she told me my father had died and there was no money to bury him. I was crying in my dream, and woke up crying...so upset, because there would be some many people hurt if we did not give my father a proper burial. He is a very well loved member of our family and group of friends. "OKAY, this was the classic feel like you have no control dream," I reasoned with myself. Like that dream where your teeth are falling right out of your mouth, and you're catching them in your cupped hands. The first time I had that dream, I went straight to Borders the next morning, and looked it up in one of those dream books.

Last night, like many nights as of late, I dreamed about banking in general. It's like I'm still working in my sleep. I'm figuring people's penalties on early CD withdrawals, figuring how much they can afford to borrow and at what rate. I'm selling!!! I wake up in a sweat, tired and frustrated, feeling the pressure that is being put on me and my team during the week.

Mumblings that I hear from others at work tell me that I am not alone. Something's gotta give!!!

A Nice Time

Okay, so it was breakfast at JoJo's, just as planned, but although very sunny, it really was just a little too cold to muster up the courage to want to walk around outside.

Instead my pal suggested we drive to the Pittsburgh Mills Mall, and do our strolling in doors. He wanted to buy some sunglasses at a place he had visited before, and I was just glad to not be at work today, and up for just about anything.

I was not there to shop, cannot afford to shop, and yet somehow ended up buying the sweetest maxi-sundress. It's green and turquoise, and the greatest ring and bracelets to match came home with me as well. It's February in Pittsburgh, I'm pasty-white, and I'm buying sundresses. Oh well, maybe it will serve as motivation for my new aerobic workout. I'm going to look so great in that dress!!! I will wear it to this year's Art Festival, out with friends for margaritas, to RenFest, an outdoor concert perhaps..............ah summer is on it's way!!!

Down The Strip

For those of you who are not native Pittsburghers, "Goin' down the strip", or if to sound it out for you "goin downastrip" means: that I'm going to travel by car, usually early on a Saturday morning, to an area of town known as the strip district. It is the part of town where both historically and today, the produce trucks deliver their wares into the city of Pittsburgh.

Today I am going with my friend, Rick. We will stuff ourselves silly with breakfast at Pittsburgh's acclaimed JoJo's diner, and then try to walk some of it off visiting the variety of produce stores, and shops along the strip.

This kind of a Saturday is best suited for warm weather, as I write it is 21 degrees F outside, but hey, we're made of steel! I'll let you know if I find anything great today!!!

A DECADE

Rebecca Really would like to hear from YOU!!!

Harley (the amazing little dog) and I were wondering.

Have any of you ever found that you've been stuck in something for much too long? Maybe a job, maybe a friendship, maybe a love relationship. Have you ever loved the idea of something so much, that you couldn't let go even when that something wasn't panning out.

I would be so very interested in hearing from anyone who has ever found the strength to move on. I know there must be some good stories out there. Some inspiration.

Also, how do you come to terms with the idea that you've wasted so much time?

Let me hear from you.

For My Sister

Well my sister called me at work yesterday and said that she read the blog entry about MNC. She loved it!!! (Valentine's Day After)

I decided that since she's actually in here looking at this stuff, I should throw her a bone.

I'd like to tell you about a few fun times with my sister.

The Truck Stop:

My sister lives in a very rural area, just off of a major interstate highway, and before Walmart came along, about the only thing on that highway near her home was a truck stop called Blue Ridge. I was staying with her then, and late one night we decided that we were hungry, so we went to Blue Ridge for, oh I don't remember, some heavenly meaty thing floating in gravy with lots of mashed potatoes. Dear God, it was good! I think we had apple turnovers for dessert. So here we are, the only two women in this testosterone soaked truck stop, eating and giggling, and pretty much drawing a lot of attention.

When we are finished, sis heads for the cash register, and I decided to run to the ladies room before we left. I came out while she was paying our check, and all of the truckers at the counter are having a field day checking us out. "This is where the real fun starts", I thought to myself. Keep in mind, my sister is generally a little reserved, something I've never been particularly good at. All eyes were on us as I approached her, so I casually walked up, pressed up against her side, and started lovingly stroking her back, and caressing her shoulder as though we were a couple. I was being friendlier than mere sisters would be, if you get my drift. You could see looks being shot back and forth between these guys now, they were loving this stuff. As we were walking out, I tried to even reach for her hand, but she wasn't having it. She was bright red by this point. We were both laughing so hard as we hurried outside.

If I had a dollar for every time an outing with my sister ended in "you're so bad" I'd be a very wealthy woman.

Heck's:

I think "Heck's" was the name of the store at that time. It was a pre-Walmart department store. We walked in one day, just like many times before. Probably picking up the usual kind of stuff...shampoo, whatnots, some new flip-flops...whatever. We were walking down the center isle, and she got a little ahead of me, so I started calling her name. Loudly. And acting like I was kind of...mentally challenged. (Yes, I know how wrong that is, but we're sister's okay?)
Keep in mind, that my sister's nickname is LULU. So it really was a pretty funny sight, this grown woman stomping around a department store yelling impatiently for "LULU".

Of course, she's purple, and walking quickly in the opposite direction, which only added to my "tantrum". When I caught up with her I told her that "That wasn't very nice, and I think you hurt 'bof' of my feelings"!

Ahhh, the joy in embarrassing my big sister!

Pathetic

Me

MICHEL THERRIEN, YOU'RE INVITED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS IS NOT A JOKE. MICHEL, YOU ARE CORDIALLY INVITED TO A HOME COOKED DINNER AT MY HUMBLE HOME AS A GESTURE OF THANKS AND APPRECIATION FOR YOUR WORK AS COACH OF THE FABULOUS PITTSBURGH PENGUINS.

YOU ARE A CLASS ACT, AND YOUR INTERVIEWS TODAY SHOW THAT!!!

SO IF YOU ARE MICHEL, OR YOU KNOW MICHEL, OR YOU CAN CONTACT MICHEL, JUST TELL HIM TO GOOGLE REALLYREBECCA (NO SPACES) AND EMAIL ME.

NO CATCH. NOT CRAZY.

HEY, IT'S WORTH A SHOT.

Back to School, Back to School

Do you remember hearing Adam Sandler sing that in the popular movie? It struck me as being so funny, and when my kids were still in high school I loved taunting them with the refrain on Monday mornings!

Well, It's just me this morning, my 19 year old daughter is fast asleep, and yet I can't help feeling taunted as I write and sip my steamy cup of tea.

"I DON'T WANNA GO BACK TO WORK"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, wish me luck, friends. It's been 9 days at home now...and I was only just getting started.

Yesterday was the first day that I even really left the house. It was a nice day, spent mostly with my tall, dark, handsome 21 (almost 22) year old son. We went to breakfast, which was very enjoyable, with minimal chat about work (we work in the same profession), which was even better. We went to my house afterward to do his taxes. He's getting a refund this year and going to North Carolina with his girlfriend's family in June. At least somebody gets to go somewhere!

I drove him to his apartment later, and headed to Barnes & Noble. It's heaven there, isn't it?
Except when creepy guys want to browse the same area that you are browsing. Why doesn't everyone know about the "rules of personal space"? I found two great books in the bargain section...I need more bookshelves.

Back to the BUSINESS WORLD!!!

President's Day Off

So today is President's Day, and I have the day off. So nice of all of those nice Presidents. I'm pretty sure that none of them, not a one, took the day off for the occasion, ever. I could be wrong, but I'm guessing.

To return the favor, I'm going to compose a letter to all of the living Presidents and award them with a day off this year on May 17th. That's my birthday, and from here on out will be known as "Rebecca's Day", and I'd like to give all the Presidents the day off that day just to say thank you.

I can see it now. They'll be so happy. I'll probably get cards and flowers from their wives thanking me. Well maybe not Hillary, she won't appreciate it at all. Can't you just see Bill chasing her around all day trying to get some love. She'd be cursing me, don't you think?

I think that George and Laura would appreciate it, but they probably have actually had some time to themselves lately. It probably wouldn't mean as much to them as the Obamas, but the Bushes are full of southern style manners, and they'd send the thank you just the same. The senior Bushes would get a kick out of the idea, old people like getting anything for free.

Old people come into my office, perhaps I'll notarize something for them for example, and they always want the pen. "Oh what a nice pen," they'll say, admiring it like it's a brand new car. That's when I have to pull the switcharoo. I say, "oh, do you like it"? Then I snatch it out of there fingers, and quickly open my drawer, saying "let me give you a new one, that's almost out of ink". I keep a stock of similar looking, cheaper ones for just this sort of occasion. You would think I'd really done something. One guy even brought me a hand made scarf from his daughter the next day.

Oh, heck, you know what? All of this good will is making me feel generous. You can all have Rebecca's Day off this year. By the way, it falls on a Sunday!