THIS KIND OF LOVE

I can remember when my children were very small, how much I loved to hold them while they slept. I could while away hours watching a tiny angel in my arms, and the feeling seemed to be mutual. I miss the days when my little ones were always reaching for mama to hold them.

My son was born with a full head of perfectly parted hair. He looked like a little televangelist. I loved stroking his little bangs into place as he fell asleep, and when he got older he used to play with his own little brown locks when he would begin to drift off.

I have a Klimt print that hangs above my mantel that so reminds me of my middle daughter. I love the piece, because it so well captures the feeling of contentment, of peace and of joy that is offered in the love of a parent's embrace. I hope it is the feeling offered to guests in my home as well.

I am blessed to be able to witness this kind of love between my daughter and granddaughter these days. This week it was even more evident, as my granddaughter had to spend a night in the hospital. I am so pleased with the measure of grace with which I saw my once little girl patiently caring for her own little one.

Without even a word, we are able to say I love you. My youngest daughter used to delight if I squeezed her hand three times, because it was our code for just those three words. I have never outgrown the need for that kind of touch, as my own parents were very loving with me as well.

May we all keep this kind of love in our lives forever.

Not Alone

Today I was leaving work and for no particular reason (that I'm going to share right now) had an overwhelming need to see my Dad. I couldn't seem to drive quickly enough. I could feel myself welling up with tears as I neared the cemetery. When I got there I parked at the top of the hill and walked , almost ran, to his grave. Once there I fell to my knees, and head in hands the tears finally came. "I miss you, Daddy" was all I could really muster. I knew he knew the rest. I felt that he very much knew that I was there, and why I was there. I also felt that he spoke to me. I know that he wishes that he could be here to help me still, but I felt him telling me that I know what I needed to do.

My father and I were fortunate enough to spend some very meaningful moments in the months before his death. We had some very faith affirming conversations on the subjects of God, of faith itself, and of Heaven. I feel strongly that my Earthly father was pointing me toward my Heavenly Father today. I know that my Dad would like for me to pray and seek God's will. I feel that he was reminding me that we have a Heavenly Father that loves us both and that I need to trust Him, lean on Him, rely on Him and learn to let go of the worry and the fear.

As I write this, I'm feeling tired and a bit ragged from the emotion of the day, but I did get the reassurance that I needed. I need a night's rest, that's for sure, but after that, I feel ready to press forward. I am changing my life, and ever so motivated, but sometimes it's really hard going it alone. Today I was reminded that I AM NOT alone.

Monday Monday

Rainy days and Mondays always get you down? Well, it's Monday AND it's threatening rain. Somehow I feel ready to face the week, however. I am so full of motivation lately, I have no idea what is getting into me. I have so many ideas, so many projects planned, I'm feeling so creative. Maybe it's just Spring in the air, but whatever it is, I hope it keeps coming.

I'm planning on digging up my roses in the front yard, as they don't offer me the color all summer that I would love to see. Thinking about hibiscus instead. My front yard is very sunny all day, and I have a picket fence for it to grow on. Does anybody have any tips or recommendations?

I'd love to hear from you!!!

Writer's Room

I've been working on the house as of late. I have painted four rooms in two week's time. The latest to be painted is my new writer's room. I have always dreamed of a space where I could work uninterrupted and a room where I could keep all of my books, reference materials, resources and computer.

For now, the room is furnished with some pieces that I had in the house, but I'm looking for a nice farmhouse table to use as a desk. The markets will be going full swing as the weather begins to warm, and I'm sure I will find the perfect table, as well as some other things to complete the room. Also looking for two short file cabinets.

I painted a large blank canvas in a creamy white and hung it on one wall in the room. A blank canvas is what every writer faces every time we sit down to work. I think it makes for a nice conversation piece, but it actually looks rather lovely contrasted against the warm cinnamon-sugar wall color.

What do you think so far?

It's been a while.

Hello bloggers. It's been a long while since I visited. I have had a very transitional couple of years in my life. My father passed away in November of 2009. I was growing very weary at my job in banking and was actually fired from my management position in April of 2010. I was terrified initially, but have felt a sense of freedom as well. I know that at the age of 44, if I am going to do the things that I've dreamed of...now is the time. Selling you crappy CD rates was not one of the things I aspired to continue doing. I hope to spend a little time here sharing if that's okay with you. I'll be looking for some of you to follow as well.