Today I was leaving work and for no particular reason (that I'm going to share right now) had an overwhelming need to see my Dad. I couldn't seem to drive quickly enough. I could feel myself welling up with tears as I neared the cemetery. When I got there I parked at the top of the hill and walked , almost ran, to his grave. Once there I fell to my knees, and head in hands the tears finally came. "I miss you, Daddy" was all I could really muster. I knew he knew the rest. I felt that he very much knew that I was there, and why I was there. I also felt that he spoke to me. I know that he wishes that he could be here to help me still, but I felt him telling me that I know what I needed to do.
My father and I were fortunate enough to spend some very meaningful moments in the months before his death. We had some very faith affirming conversations on the subjects of God, of faith itself, and of Heaven. I feel strongly that my Earthly father was pointing me toward my Heavenly Father today. I know that my Dad would like for me to pray and seek God's will. I feel that he was reminding me that we have a Heavenly Father that loves us both and that I need to trust Him, lean on Him, rely on Him and learn to let go of the worry and the fear.
As I write this, I'm feeling tired and a bit ragged from the emotion of the day, but I did get the reassurance that I needed. I need a night's rest, that's for sure, but after that, I feel ready to press forward. I am changing my life, and ever so motivated, but sometimes it's really hard going it alone. Today I was reminded that I AM NOT alone.
No comments:
Post a Comment