President's Day Off

So today is President's Day, and I have the day off. So nice of all of those nice Presidents. I'm pretty sure that none of them, not a one, took the day off for the occasion, ever. I could be wrong, but I'm guessing.

To return the favor, I'm going to compose a letter to all of the living Presidents and award them with a day off this year on May 17th. That's my birthday, and from here on out will be known as "Rebecca's Day", and I'd like to give all the Presidents the day off that day just to say thank you.

I can see it now. They'll be so happy. I'll probably get cards and flowers from their wives thanking me. Well maybe not Hillary, she won't appreciate it at all. Can't you just see Bill chasing her around all day trying to get some love. She'd be cursing me, don't you think?

I think that George and Laura would appreciate it, but they probably have actually had some time to themselves lately. It probably wouldn't mean as much to them as the Obamas, but the Bushes are full of southern style manners, and they'd send the thank you just the same. The senior Bushes would get a kick out of the idea, old people like getting anything for free.

Old people come into my office, perhaps I'll notarize something for them for example, and they always want the pen. "Oh what a nice pen," they'll say, admiring it like it's a brand new car. That's when I have to pull the switcharoo. I say, "oh, do you like it"? Then I snatch it out of there fingers, and quickly open my drawer, saying "let me give you a new one, that's almost out of ink". I keep a stock of similar looking, cheaper ones for just this sort of occasion. You would think I'd really done something. One guy even brought me a hand made scarf from his daughter the next day.

Oh, heck, you know what? All of this good will is making me feel generous. You can all have Rebecca's Day off this year. By the way, it falls on a Sunday!