Endless Love

I went to the funeral home after work today. One of my co-workers lost her husband this week. He was 56 years old. She woke up the other morning and found him on the floor. He was just "gone". No warning.

I have known Bettina for less than a year, and I cannot count the times I've heard her refer to her husband as "my Marty". She has told me so many times how they are more in love today than when they met...it just kept growing. They were married for 26 years, and worked together for a few years before that.

The two had no children, but instead, two beautiful Afghan show dogs that were their life. They devoted themselves to one another and these dogs...and not much else. It's all they wanted or needed.

Tonight, this lovely woman sat in a chair, pulled up to her husband's casket, and rested her head upon his arm, her hands tenderly and constantly stroking his chest, arm and head. She needed the comfort of the man she loved. I had never seen an arrangement like this at a funeral home, but they actually had the kneeler slid down toward the bottom of the casket to make room for this chair...she refused to leave him. She told me that she "just can't do this", and that she wants to "take him out of there and bring him home". She wasn't trying to be dramatic in any way, she said this with the innocence of a child. For her there was no way to process the idea of life without "her Marty".

When the author Nicholas Sparks released his first novel, "The Notebook", I sobbed uncontrollably at the depiction of their love for one another. Their love was an incredible thing. I was in a struggling marriage at the time. I had been married for 16 years to a man whom I loved deeply. I know he loved me too, and yet, there was most definitely something missing. The bond that I longed for just was not there. After fifteen years I learned that it was because of some secrets that he was unable to share with me. I forgave him initially, but the trust I once had in him was so broken that I couldn't open myself up to him the way that I once had.

That book that I read really put words around some desires that I had had in my heart my whole life long. I knew that I wanted the kind of love that that story was about.

Over the last few days as I have encountered the grief that this dear woman is experiencing, but I have also caught glimpses of something that is so beautiful. The real love that they shared is just so evident. I think even she would agree that it is better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all.

As my friends and I left the funeral home, I told one of them that I would rather remain alone for the rest of my life than to settle for anything less than that kind of love.

A piece of advice from a girl who knows. If you've want greener grass, water the grass that you have. It's so worth it!!! Wear your heart on your sleeve, say I love you until it's almost annoying. When you run into temptation, be some one's hero and just do the right thing. Treasure what is precious to you, protect it with all your heart.

Aspire to great things!